How do you age well, Cheryl Kramer Kaye?

If you could create a neon sign about aging, it’d say…. Better late than never!

When did you first realize you were hitting menopause? I was on the pill for most of my adult life—until my gyno told me that I should go off it at 50 to see where things stood, menopause-wise. Post-pill, my periods continued to be quite regular until one month, I was late. Like 10 days late. I peed on a stick—negative, of course. And while I was very, very relieved that I wasn’t pregnant, I was a little bummed that it meant that I was probably in perimenopause.

Do you have a funny menopause moment? One of my best friends came to stay over for a few nights this fall. My husband slept in the guest room and she slept in my room so we could catch up. I woke up in the middle of the night, damp from sweat, and thought, “Oh! This must be what night sweats are like!” In the morning, my friend said, “I think I had night sweats for the first time last night.” Which is when we both realized that the radiator had kicked in overnight!

On the flip side, a time you wanted to cry…or punch a wall? There have been days when my boobs have been so tender that it’s painful. It feels like I’m 12 and going through puberty again, but at least then, I ended up with a perky set of C-cups. By the time this is all over, I’ll be scooping my Fs off the floor.

Best wellness habit you’ve picked up? Was I supposed to pick up a wellness habit? I forget to pick things up all the time.

Talk to us about confidence now vs the before times. I’ve never lacked confidence, but now it comes from a place of experience rather than fearlessness.

How are you kind to yourself? It’s been a little harder during the pandemic, but I never deprive myself of a massage. I don’t need fancy spa (not that I mind the champagne they offer at La Prairie at the Ritz-Carlton), but I’m happy to go to the local Qi Gong spa where they beat the crap out of me for $48 an hour.

What’s your bedtime routine? I have crappy sleep hygiene: I snack late at night, go to bed at a different time every night, and fall asleep with my fingers on my laptop keyboard. I’m also 100% a night owl—I’m sometimes still awake when everyone else is waking up. I used to take Ambien to try to go to bed at a “normal” time, but I read too many studies about its adverse effects long-term. Then I found that just a nibble of melatonin, .5mg, is the perfect little nudge I need to fall asleep. And once I’m asleep, I’m a freaking champion.

How do you maximize your morning? I sleep through it! I have never been a morning person and the older I get, the more nocturnal I become.

Skincare: what’s working for you right now? Welcome to my wheelhouse! As a beauty editor for 25 years, I’m a true believer that consistent skincare can make a big difference. Mornings are pretty simple: I wash with a foaming cleanser, like MDSolarSciences WashAway, which is oil-based, so it won’t leave my face dry and tight. Then I’ll apply a face oil; I’m loving Augustinus Bader The Face Oil, which, to me, smells faintly of coffee, and makes me feel like I’m waking myself up! Then I always apply a moisturizer with SPF30 or higher (these days it’s Olay Mineral Suncreen SPF 30). Throughout the day, if I’ve been masked up, I’ll spritz on twenty/twenty Easy On the Eyes. It’s a mist with hypochlorous acid, an antibacterial. The formula was designed to prevent eye infections, but it’s also great on skin for warding off maskne.This is about to get embarrassingly long, but my nighttime routine is to cleanse again, then make my serum “cocktail.” There’s always a retinol in there, plus something hydrating to buffer any dryness the retinol might cause. Right now it’s Obagi SuzanObagiMD Retivance, Heraux Anti-Inflammaging Serum, plus Pili Ani Ageless Concentrate. I use an eye cream (ISDIN Vital Eyes) and neck cream (Payot Suprême Jeunesse). And I top it all off with a hydrating night cream, like Tula Beauty Sleep or SeeMe Beauty Sweet Dreams. Twice a week I give myself an at-home glycolic peel with Sobel Skin Rx 30% Glycolic Peel Concentrate for a quick radiance boost. And last, but certainly not least, I get lots of little tweaks at the dermatologist, emphasis on little. I don’t want anyone to see my face and ask what I’ve had done, but I always want to share what works! I’ve had Botox, fillers, lasers, peels, microneedling, and energy therapies at every imaginable wavelength. I haven’t yet gone under the knife, but never say never.

As a woman who wasn’t born yesterday, what’s your best girlfriend advice? It comes from my high school sex ed teacher, Mrs. Tarshis, who was 60-something, white-haired, and utterly unafraid of what a roomful of horny teenagers would throw at her. We were allowed to ask any question, and she would answer. One student asked, “How old are you when you stop having sex?” Mrs. Tarshis’ answer stays with me to this day, when it’s more important than ever: “You can do it until you stop doing it,” she said. My advice is to never stop doing it.